| Sixty years
later, Bill J. still finds it difficult to openly
discuss the Gustloff disaster. Growing up near
Gotenhafen (present-day Gdynia) during World War II, he says the realities
of war were part of his life when experiencing "tragedy almost every day".
He emphasizes that you become almost desensitized and bury many
memories deep inside. He says that many of the images
from his experience of the sinking come to him like flashes from a "black and white"
movie. Furthermore, for years he
could not bring himself to discuss the subject because he felt no one would believe
the extent of the tragedy - the "sheer number of
people" who lost their lives.
As a young boy peering
through the window frames in his home, he clearly remembers
seeing the "fantastic large ship" docked at the
pier. As any young boy would, he would dream of the
adventures he could have aboard the vessel. Little did he know, he would be a young passenger
attempting escape to the west aboard the "beautiful
ship" on January 30, 1945.
At the age of 9 years old,
and fearing the arrival of the Russians, he boards the Gustloff
with his mother and two sisters. Traveling by train is
not an option - the Soviet Red Army controls the railways
south of the Danzig. The only practical method of escape
is by the Baltic Sea. Bill's
mother has sent his father a letter informing him of their
plans to escape westward aboard the former KdF cruise ship.
Stationed in the western part of Germany, his father
anxiously awaits their arrival into safer haven - away from
the danger of the Eastern Front.
Leaving their home with only
a small suitcase between the four of them, the family walks a
few kilometres toward
Oxhöft Pier in
Gotenhafen.
Getting there by foot is the only option since no other
methods of transportation exist to them. The young family is one of the last few to successfully
make it on board. Bill remembers that thousands of
people were trying to storm the boat when they made their way
up the gangway.
Once on board, his mother
makes it clear to him and his
sisters that they would not be going below to a cabin (there
would be no room anyway). They would have to stay around
a landing area on the upper decks near an "overhang and
close to a row of lifeboats" - a decision that will undoubtedly
prove to be smart. His mother is very
aware of the dangers the Baltic can bring from hearing about
other ships that have been sunk. "At least we can
all swim if something happens", she told her children.
It is this combination of caution and savvy that will save
them in the not so distant future.
Once on the ship, Bill
remembers being so proud and excited to be on a big
ship. For years he had dreamed of boarding the Wilhelm
Gustloff, or any of the other ships docked in
Gotenhafen. Now he was on board, and heading to the
safety of the West (something understandably much more on the
mind of his mother). At this point, Bill and sisters
were "not frightened in the least". It is more of an
adventure to them.
That is until the first
torpedo hit.
Bill remembers "a big
bang". The whole ship shakes. People begin
scrambling all over the ship. On the decks, he recalls people rushing and
climbing to get to the lifeboats and life rafts.
Seconds after the first
explosion from the first torpedo, Bill's mother says "That's
it" and needed only move the family what seems a few feet to
the nearest lifeboat, where the tarp is already being torn
off by anxious passengers and crew. Bill remembers people
climbing in (maybe 10-15 occupants - well below the lifeboat's
capacity). The ice and cold make it a challenge to
prepare and lower the lifeboats. At some point
while the lifeboat jolts and shakes its way down toward the
water, the back of Bill's head smacks heavily against the
lifeboat. He is temporarily knocked out and left with a
sizable bleeding gash. He carries the scar to this day.
The next thing Bill recalls is the sight of a "PT boat" coming along side the
lifeboat. Crew members begin to pull out him, his family
and the handful of other freezing survivors . Eventually,
the boat, believed to be the
returns to shore some 16 miles away. Ironically, the
family ends up back
in the Danzig to a home they believed they would never see
again. News of the extent of the disaster begins to
filter through. It is not until later that the family
learns of the terribly small number of those who were
successfully rescued.
News also filters through to
the western parts of Germany. Bill's father, assuming the
whole family has drowned, leaves his current duties and volunteers to defend
Germany to its bitter end. Tragically, he dies in battle
only two hours before
the official surrender in May 1945 - never to know that his
wife and three children were safe.
By this time, the family he
would never see again had made it successfully out of the Bay
of Danzig to safety in the west. On March 8, 1945, the family
had once again left Gotenhafen - this time on a small freighter (of course,
mother insists without much argument they
stay near the upper decks again). This time they make it successfully to
Copenhagen and eventually back to Germany.
Bill cannot understand why
this tragedy has gone relatively unnoticed for many
years. Although he does credit the Internet and recent
written works as having an impact in "releasing"
information to the public. He also felt that when the movie Titanic
came out in 1997, it helped increase the profile of the Gustloff
tragedy (simply by the inevitable comparisons and quest
for more knowledge). However, this was one movie Bill
wanted to avoid. "When the movie Titanic came out,
I had no desire to see it - because I know what's going to
happen... like a foreboding feeling coming
up." He has no desire to bring memories like these
to life again.
Bill emigrated to Canada
after the war and was a geological
engineer with a major Canadian company for many years before
retirement.
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