HELGA
KNICKERBOCKER'S EXPERIENCE ON THE WILHEM GUSTLOFF
My birth and
hometown Königsberg, East Prussia (now Kaliningrad, Russia)
was surrounded with Russian troops when our parents wanted my
oldest sister and me to go to my married sister in Berlin.We
tried first overland as three Russian tanks stopped us.
We went back and found our parents still home. The Nazis
would have killed my father for deserting his own
business. Stores downtown and furniture factories behind
our house and garden had been watched from both sides.
My father opened our house to
eight German soldiers to stay in our home until their truck
was repaired. It was on January 26, 1945 when one
soldier offered to have us go with them to Pillau (now
Baltiysk, Russia), our Baltic Sea harbor - they had the order
to go west. Shortly before arriving at the harbor was an
SS control stop. We huddled under the benches with the
soldiers legs and gear covering us. Sure enough, they
came to the back of the truck and checked with their
flashlights.
In Pillau, it took us awhile
to find a boat that would take us - the Gen West.
It was the tugboat Elbing IV - that had already been
under Russian fire and its waterlines damaged that now took
the big merchant marine ship in tow, Gen West.
The tugboat took water at high sea. So they had to go to
the next harbor, Gotenhafen (now Gdynia, Poland).
The captain announced that
the big ship on the other quay would take us onboard as it was
ready to leave the harbor. It was the Wilhelm
Gustloff - we did not know that then. My sister
looked at the ship and said "a nice ship to be torpedoed,
but better to drown than to fall into Russian hands", and
we went on.
They let the ramp down for us
to go on board. We got registered. The soldiers
that ran the ship had to give us their lifevests. Then
we were told to go to the dining room - to get our rationing
of bread and find ourselves a place to rest. We were
shocked as the dining room was full of people laying like
sardines. The other rooms, field hospitals - mothers
with children born that morning or before, etc. We
went back to the hallway next to the washroom.
Everything was so nice and clean. So we took our
lifevests as mattresses and our fur coats as a blanket.
It was not long as the first
detonation exploded. The air got dusty. We knew
what happened. I grabbed my coat, put it on, then the
lifevest. We were next to the stairs, my legs gave
way. I crawled like a dog up the stairs. People
started to step on me and over me.
At the door on the promenade
deck, I got fresh air and could stand up. My sister and
our young aunt, 3 months pregnant, were standing next to one
lifeboat on the railing and watched as they hammered the boats
loose from the mothership. Everything was icy.
We were told that these
lifeboats were only for mother and children.
The chaos started.
The ship started to lay to the
other side. We had to hold us onto the railing.
Shots got fired. The SOS flares went to the sky.
My sister and aunt got
cold. Instead of grabbing their fur coats they grabbed
their lifevests first. I told my sister we will share my
coat later. Floating "frames" (ed. note:
rafts) were falling into
the water somehow - I know not where from. My sister had
been seasick the night before. I told her we have to get
to the "frames" before they are overcrowded.
My sister went over the
railing and let herself down on the rope, where the lifeboat
went down on. We had doubled our clothes after we go
back from our first attempt to get to Berlin. I still
see my sister's skirt from her dress floating in a circle
around her, then I thought about her riding boots she had on,
and then, the water must be icy.
When I got on that rope down,
her "frame" had drifted away. So I took the next
"frame",
pushed myself up on it and looked for my sister all
around. My aunt was still standing on the railing.
Then I saw my sister with her waist out of the water, her
heavy self-knitted sweater, green with white stripes showed
off clear by night.
Then I saw the lights from
the ship flare up. People screamed. The tail went
up and the ship was gone.
The waves were high and it
was -18º Celsius. We had to balance our
"frame" so we
would not turn over. Someone called, "Boys, don't
forget to move your legs!" After a while,
"frames" were floating by empty. We had been 18 sitting
or hanging on the raft. Now I counted 4 seamen.
Their uniforms were hard as a board (frozen). Our
"icicle hair" started to dry.
The young man next to me had
fallen inside the net. He stared at me and saliva came
out of his mouth. I tried to lift him up, but
couldn't. Across from me was a young seaman. He
begged his comrades for one cigarette and told us about his
daughter that had been born on Christmas and that he had not
seen her. Then he fell backwards into the water.
Finally he was gone.
The remaining other two started to talk
very negative - how our feet will be amputated, etc.,
etc. Then they complained about my feet. I tried
to move to hold them still. I bumped against theirs and
that hurt. One said he had been torpedoed before and
said it had never taken this long to be rescued.
Waterbombs were being detonated under us.
Finally we saw searchlights
on the horizon. We yelled and waved our arms.
Finally they came near us and called with the bullhorn.
They had to turn around to get us from the right angle to the
"frame". There my two companions complained again. But
the rescuers kept
their word.
Now they told us they would
throw their rope to us to catch it and secure it onto the
frame so they could pull us to their ship. The seamen
had stiff hands. They were holding onto the ropes of the
frame. I had my hands between my shoulders and the
coat. I was able to catch their rope and fasten it in
some way.
I was the first one to be
lifted on this school-torpedo search boat TS 2 (A.K.A.
M-387). I could not stand up. They had
to carry me inside where all the refugees and rescued sat on
the floor or were standing. They got a stool from
somewhere for me.
Now, one sailor started to
undress me from the top, the other from the waist down.
A third one was standing with an army blanket and the forth
with a double vodka. I had only one shoe, without a heel
on.
It was by now 2:30 in the
morning. This torpedo-search ship was so overloaded that
they had to ask for another search ship to bring them to the
minefield of Swinemünde harbor. Buses were waiting for
us to bring us to the university hospital.
As for my sister and aunt, I
never heard from them again.
Helga currently lives in
Meadview, Arizona.
|
