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I, Rose
Petrus, am from Schwarzort (today Juodkrantė, Lithuania), a small village of 400 inhabitants.
I have survived the cruel disaster of the sinking ship Wilhelm
Gustloff. I
worked in Gotenhafen (Gdynia today). The
Russians were pouring through the front, came closer and
closer… there was no way out, but over the waters by the Baltic Sea.
The Wilhelm
Gustloff was a beautiful ship built for joy and pleasure
to travel in calm waters.
During the war it lay in the port and served to house
Navy personnel. But
with the Russians advancing, the city of Gdynia was full of refugees from the east, so everything afloat,
including the Wilhelm
Gustloff was put to service.
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A
photo taken of Rose during her time spent in a
'Displaced Persons' camp - not long after the Gustloff
disaster. She is wearing a traditional
Lithuanian dress. |
My sister
Ursula (Ulla) was with me at the time.
She was on vacation and not able to go back to Memel (Klaipeda
today) where she worked. We
got permission to leave and go on board the Wilhelm
Gustloff. The
harbor was packed with refugees.
Most were completely exhausted from days of traveling
through cold and snow. They
had heavy packs on their backs and now were pushing to get on
board the Gustloff.
It was hard to believe that we were refugees too, and
if we could only get on board we would be saved, no matter
where we were going. With
our suitcases in our hands, and a purse with our papers in the
other, we walked in cold and gusty winds through the snow 7
miles to the harbor. After
a long wait, we got on the ship and somebody handed each a
life jacket.
We were
with 18 other girls, then we were led to one corner of the
ship. I don’t
remember which deck it was, someplace below though.
I remember that we had to lay on the floor.
In all the hallways, and everywhere, people were
stacked like sardines. Children
crying, it was a pitiful sight.
Still refugees were arriving.
A lot slipped by without registration.
Somebody showed us a corner to lay down on a floor.
I don’t know how we passed the days.
It was
January 25, 1945
when we got on the ship, and finally, on
January 30, 1945
, the Wilhelm Gustloff
started to move. We
heard that the reason it took so long to get started was
because the right escort never arrived.
People were
standing on the pier screaming, “Take us with you!”
Little did they know that it was better not to be on
board.
It took a
long time for the ship to reach deeper water.
There was a strong wind, and very cold.
It was getting dark.
The ship started to rock and it was impossible to go on
deck. I got very
seasick, and when my sister and I settled into our corner, I
thought maybe sleep will come.
Then we heard someone over the loudspeaker say,
“Don’t take your clothes off, everybody put on your
lifejackets.” So
I put mine under my head as a pillow, and to have it close by.
It took the
Gustloff about 4
hours to reach deeper water.
Nobody knew where the ship was going, but everyone was
tired and we just wanted to get some sleep.
I had just settled my sister by my side.
Then, all of a sudden, there was a bump, as if the ship
hit something. Then
a second bump, much harder and louder.
My sister and I got scared, as did everyone else.
A panic started, and there were women screaming,
children crying, but not knowing where.
I felt
something was wrong, and then there was a third hit, and the Gustloff
began to tilt to one side.
My sister
grabbed me by my lifejacket and we ran.
We knew we had to get to higher deck so we could jump
into the water when we had to.
We stepped over people’s bodies, and finally reached
the lower promenade deck.
We heard orders to, “Please keep quiet, we will hold
the ship,” but nobody listened.
All of the sudden, the lights went out.
Then a voice on the loudspeakers said, “The ship is
in danger, women and children to the lifeboats.”
What a joke. From
standing in one place for so long, nothing seemed to work.
All of the lifeboats were rusted or frozen to the ship.
I heard later that only 4 to 6 came loose.
We were all standing, but the ship started turning
lop-sided and we all started to slide down.
My sister and I were still holding hands.
One of our good friends standing near by said, “Kids,
now we have to die.”
“No!”
my sister yelled, and with great effort we reached a window
where we could hang on. All
of the people were sliding down on top of each other.
We could only hear screaming and crying.
There were also shots being fired too.
My sister
and I were still hanging on and trying to break the glass of
the window, but nothing would give.
There was one officer balancing on the window and he
shot the glass. We
pushed with our hands to break it, and there was blood running
down our hands, but we didn’t care.
My sister
managed to crawl out, but I didn’t see her after she
disappeared in the icy water.
People pushed so hard, and I managed to get out too.
All of the sudden, I felt the cold water.
I felt almost hot at first, but I got under and knew it
was the end. I
only hoped I would lose consciousness first.
But I came
up and got air. It
was good I had my lifejacket on, so then I swam a few strokes.
I saw the Wilhelm
Gustloff almost under water.
People were everywhere swimming and screaming.
Children with lifejackets much too big, floating heads
in the water, legs up.
Then I felt
I was being pulled down. I
knew since I grew up by the
Baltic Sea
that there’s a strong pull when a ship sinks.
I tried to swim away in another direction.
The waves were so high it was impossible.
I felt somebody was pulling my legs.
There was an old man hanging on to me.
I screamed and told him to let go of me because he was
pulling me down. I
kicked as hard as I could and he finally let go.
I tried to swim a few strokes but the icy water and
cold wind were unbearable.
Now I saw
less and less people floating around.
I saw lights far away, but couldn’t understand why
nobody was coming to rescue us.
Then I got a hold of a life raft full of people, but
with one hand I got a grip of a rope.
It is a little easier to swim.
I start feeling the cold, my shoes had untied, I kick
them off.
I hold
myself in a position that nobody can get a hold of me.
I feel, not
much longer will I have the strength to go on, what will
happen? I must let
go, my left hand is starting to get tired and numb.
That was the hand that was holding on to the raft.
All of the
sudden, I see a lifeboat – so I get hold of it, but it is
overloaded and everybody is yelling, “Nobody can come in,
we’ll all go down.”
With all my
strength I swing myself over into the lifeboat.
The lifeboat is full of water. I
kneel down and hold myself with both hands, so as not to get
washed overboard from the high waves.
We all yell in a chorus, “Help, help, help!”
Nothing happens, we see lights far away, and we wonder
why nobody comes to our rescue.
Some
people, already frozen to death, lay in the water of our
little boat. We
try to warm ourselves on the bodies.
The water is so cold, and the waves so high, it goes
over our heads. My
hair is full of icicles – it felt like that.
It all had
started around
9PM
. I looked at my
watch, but it was gone. I
had only the watchband around my arm.
Somebody said it was
3:30AM
. We all felt we
had no more hope. We
could not cry for help anymore, our horrified cry is still in
my ears, and I will never forget it as long as I live.
We had just given up, drifting in the cold water.
There was a little boy in the boat, 8 or 9 years old.
He kept on saying, “Let’s yell one more time, then
we will be saved, don’t give up.”
With our last effort in chorus, we cried out “Help,
help, help!” I
still hear that cry…
We all know we could not last much longer.
Everybody was very quiet – maybe some said a last
prayer. I had also
given up – we will drown.
Dear Lord, I thought, you’ve helped me this far,
please don’t let me suffer, help me a little more.
I even remembered a hymn my grandmother taught me about
a ship that was sinking, and only the Lord can help.
More and more persons fell down in the lifeboat,
frozen, or from exhaustion.
Then, all
of a sudden, we looked out, and saw a big ship, not too far
from us. Before we
knew what was happening they had thrown a rope to us, and we
were pulling along side the ship.
O what joy! Help
finally! They took
the boy first, then me. I
remember I lifted both hands up and they pulled me over the
railing on board the big ship.
I must have
passed out. When I
came to, I was dressed in men’s clothing – like from the
Navy. My legs were
swollen, and my knees were like pillows, and so were my hands.
I could not straighten my feet.
They were so stiff from kneeling in the cold water for
so long. I just
wanted to be warm after the cold water.
Somebody gave us whiskey to drink to feel a little
warmer. It was
4AM
in the morning. This
ship, a German destroyer, was overloaded with refugees.
Then I
remembered my sister Ursula (Ulla), and I started to worry,
and asked of anyone had seen her.
People thought I was crazy – 6,000 or more people on
the Gustloff, and I
ask about my sister – it is just impossible to find her.
But one officer came in to the cabin and heard me
complaining. He
said, “What, you had a sister?
There is a girl in the next cabin who had been on the Gustloff,
and she looks like you, almost.”
Somebody helped me to stand up, so I went to the next
cabin. There she
was, eating hot soup! “Ulla!”
I cried out, and we were in each others’ arms.
We said a prayer, and we were sure God had performed a
miracle, and saved us both – on the same ship, so many hours
apart!
We didn’t
know where the ship was going, moving very slow.
I started to get sick and sicker – I thought I would
lose my legs.
We finally
reached a port, Swinemünde.
There I was a long time in the hospital, with second
and third degree frostbite.
I was afraid I would lose my legs, and I was very ill
with pneumonia. I
was sent to Denmark to recuperate, and I was still there when to war ended.
I had lost everything, friends, and did not know where
my mother and other sister and little brother were.
This is my
testimonial. I
wrote this historical event, just as I lived through it.
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Rose
at the 40th Anniversary of the Gustloff sinking.
She was the only one from the USA so she received the
flowers! |
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Rose
still looks wonderful today at the age of 80 years
'young'. |
Even 61 years later, Rose
says that not one day goes by without thinking about this
tragedy. She currently lives near
Denver, Colorado.
All rights reserved. ©
2003 Rose Petrus
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